Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
