i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize