she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
