I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
