I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
