do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
