Got a toothbrush?
okay pat passed out under dana's car
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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