it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
