Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
