Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I've blown a few things in my day
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Randomize