I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize