.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize