I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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