there was a trapeze. enough said
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
