Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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