um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
