where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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