so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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