I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I'm bleeding and have questions
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
