are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize