My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
