can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I just want nice things and good sex
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
