so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
