I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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