Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
