can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
