She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
