Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
