Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
