it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
