My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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