She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
