Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize