I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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