he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Randomize
