I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize