It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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