My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
