I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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