Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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