i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
