I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
this hospital has no fireball
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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