i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
