i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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