I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
