You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize