We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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