he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
