I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
