Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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