I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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