I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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