You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I wish i was in the wii world.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
