Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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